Tuesday, July 18, 2006

i haven't posted in so long, cause i haven't felt the need to share what's been happening in my life. is that more of my selfish nature manifesting itself. am i really that insensitive sometimes?
but lately, i've found so much happiness, that even that happiness doesn't make me a better person, that i forget to take into consideration that happiness of others. why is it that we always end up hurting the ones we love most?
it's amazing how moods can change oh-so-quickly. through all the pain and heart ache that seemed to be happening around me, i thought i was safe. i thought it wouldn't affect me. and then when you least expect it, it all hits closer to home. closer than you ever realised.
yesterday i was sooooo happy. . .i haven't laughed sooo much in ages. i hadn't felt so free in ages. then last nite, the ugly world of reality decided to knock on my door again. my blind spots thrown straight into my face.
last nite. . .as if to make up for all my happiness, came all the pain. why? i really don't know. lemme correct myself, it's not an ugly world, merely faintly beautiful truth.
i never meant to hurt anyone. i'm grateful for all the things you've blessed my life with. my fondest moments. . .
there's so much i'll never forget. beautifully broken, but hopefully we'll turn out the better for it.
it hurts. . .hurts to think that my happiness is partly at the expense of others.
i'll always keep that love though. i'll let go, but i'll still love.

ceelilya inspired at 11:09 AM

{xoxo}